Sorting Friends
We all know about sorting laundry. I like to make a pile of all the socks, then find their matches. Friends are the pair to our lone sock. We match each other. And once we know how we pair off with our friend, we can connect in the places that are natural and enjoyable. Because […]
Friendship Fountain
Fountains distract me in the best of ways. I know they’re ancient inventions, just water in motion, but there’s such a soothing playfulness in fountains. They invite me to wait and watch. The movement and sound of those splashes, the lure to reach for a few coins at the bottom, the energy of water shot […]
Why Christmas is Often a Bore
Almost 100 years ago, Dorothy L. Sayers wrote, “Great bore, Christmas, isn’t it? All the people one hates most gathered together in the name of goodwill and all that.” To which Lord Peter Wimsey responds, “Bring a couple of whiskies.”* The rush and bubble of all those people we don’t really know and, let’s be […]
Mapping Out Friendship
If someone asked you to draw a map to find a good friend, could you chart the path? Maybe you know a few landmarks? What are the signs that you’re on the path to a strong, lifelong friendship? I took inventory recently and came up with this list. What has led me to great friendships? […]
Mercy from our Families
My grandfather taught me how to signal across the room, a sign that all was well and that he loved me. A grin accompanied with a longer blink, subtle and yet clear as day. I doubt anyone else would have seen it. We had a family whistle, too, a way to find each other in […]
How Special Do You Need to Be
“Codependency* has no respect for age, color, social standing, or sex.” Anne Wilson Schaef We had just finished a terrific sushi dinner in New York City. We were enjoying a double date with D and his wife who lived in New Jersey. D had helped us find a babysitter, so we could enjoy driving his […]
Leaning In
Back when I had only been married a year, way back before I had any idea of how much soul work I really had to do, I met Karen. Of the thousands of therapists in Orange County, God appointed her for me. And she’s been a huge influencer in my life the last two decades. […]
When Triathletes Commission a Painting
August is a month of pilgrimage for Americans. It’s the month we return to our holidays of choice, the special places we feel most alive or inspired to be free. August is when we return to places that nourish us, even if that’s just gardening at home. We enjoy that collective breath before the rush […]
Pretender Friends
Let me first admit that Jackson Browne’s lyrics from “The Pretender” inspired the title of this one. I met M years ago in Canada*. When I told her I would be visiting for a month to write a book, M was overjoyed. Near the end of the month, we had made many good memories together. […]
Lifelong Friends
You know that moment when a stranger reveals something a little different from the crowd? And in that moment, when they look a little vulnerable, you stop and look at them twice and think, “You, too?! I thought it was just me . . .”* I thought it was just me who painted model civil […]
