Companions
A friend is a companion, a word that comes from the French meaning with-bread (com = with, pain = bread).
Balloon Friends
For February, I want to unpack what a friend really means. Let’s start with a beautiful metaphor. Friends are like balloons, hot air balloons. They light up our sky. This brilliance is only possible because behind the incredible show of light and color, someone worked very hard on this balloon. Read more on this balloon metaphor […]
Practical Tips: Downsizing a Friendship
The space we give our friends is part of how we enjoy friendship. In this painting of me and my son, it’s the distance between us that makes room for this huge palm tree shadow. Because we are further apart, I could see the shadow. If my son and I were in a three-legged race, I […]
Sorting Friends
We all know about sorting laundry. I like to make a pile of all the socks, then find their matches. Friends are the pair to our lone sock. We match each other. And once we know how we pair off with our friend, we can connect in the places that are natural and enjoyable. Because […]
Friendship Fountain
Fountains distract me in the best of ways. I know they’re ancient inventions, just water in motion, but there’s such a soothing playfulness in fountains. They invite me to wait and watch. The movement and sound of those splashes, the lure to reach for a few coins at the bottom, the energy of water shot […]
Why Christmas is Often a Bore
Almost 100 years ago, Dorothy L. Sayers wrote, “Great bore, Christmas, isn’t it? All the people one hates most gathered together in the name of goodwill and all that.” To which Lord Peter Wimsey responds, “Bring a couple of whiskies.”* The rush and bubble of all those people we don’t really know and, let’s be […]
Mapping Out Friendship
If someone asked you to draw a map to find a good friend, could you chart the path? Maybe you know a few landmarks? What are the signs that you’re on the path to a strong, lifelong friendship? I took inventory recently and came up with this list. What has led me to great friendships? […]
Mercy from our Families
My grandfather taught me how to signal across the room, a sign that all was well and that he loved me. A grin accompanied with a longer blink, subtle and yet clear as day. I doubt anyone else would have seen it. We had a family whistle, too, a way to find each other in […]
How Special Do You Need to Be
“Codependency* has no respect for age, color, social standing, or sex.” Anne Wilson Schaef We had just finished a terrific sushi dinner in New York City. We were enjoying a double date with D and his wife who lived in New Jersey. D had helped us find a babysitter, so we could enjoy driving his […]
Leaning In
Back when I had only been married a year, way back before I had any idea of how much soul work I really had to do, I met Karen. Of the thousands of therapists in Orange County, God appointed her for me. And she’s been a huge influencer in my life the last two decades. […]
